& Baby

So I've entered the world of "family blogging". Hopefully it turns out better than personal blogging...because when I read my personal blog, I want to crawl under a rock because it's so embarrassing (and no I won't give you the link). My life has changed so much in the past year. I'm MARRIED now which is super cool. Here's one of my favorite wedding pictures and proof that I really did get married.

So back in the beginning of May I discovered I was pregnant...WHAT. I know, I know that's what I said. The funny part is that Ben and I had just had a heated argument (fight) regarding the fact that there was no way we could have a baby until we got better with our money. The very next morning I was hell bent on going back on my birth control and I decided just to be safe I would take a test. Much to my dismay...I was pregnant. The line was SO faint that I was convinced it was a mistake! I came out of the bathroom and decided I would not tell Ben just yet (I know everyone says I'm horrible for this one). I went to work and on my way I called my sister Melanie and I was sure she was going to tell me it was a mistake and I probably wasn't pregnant, but of course she said "Rachel you're pregnant...you can't get a false positive. A line is a line even if it's faint" (and then she was really excited..). I hung up the phone... CRAP. I had a million negative thoughts running through my head. I knew I had to tell Ben right away. I broke all the Pinterest rules...I didn't give him a jewelry box with a pregnancy test nor did I have a large banner strung around the house to surprise him when he got home and I definitely didn't do a crafty scavenger hunt that would lead him to a pregnancy test where we would embrace and cry and jump up and down (first of all I would never embrace and cry...ever). I called him...right then...on my way to work and told him to go in the bathroom and look at the pregnancy test I hid in the cupboard. Which took a lot of explaining and I had to get him to find the box because he didn't get it. He was excited! He's been wanting a baby since day 1 of being married. The whole rest of the day I could not focus on my work...I felt a panic attack coming on every five seconds. I had told Aubry as soon as I got to work so she kept giving me excited glances and I would give them back but I was DYING inside. This went on for a couple weeks. After telling a couple people, I didn't get the best reactions (because they were worried...which is TOTALLY understandable). Poor Ben tried all the time to get me excited and I was just an emotional wreck...and I'm sure the nausea and pregnancy hormones weren't helping that. Now that I just told you how unhappy I was when I found out (hopefully I'm not the only one that has experienced that)...I will say that it definitely took a turn. I still have my worries and feel stressed but I'm so excited. I'm excited to be a mom...its something I have been looking forward to for SO LONG and I can't believe that its here. I hope that I can be the kind of mom that mine was to me. She is literally the best mom in the world and such an amazing example. I can't wait to see Ben as a dad. Just seeing him with our nieces and nephews makes me melt! I'm so glad that my kids will have an amazing daddy to teach them and be there every step of the way. I know that this baby will be such an enormous blessing in our lives and I'm so excited to start a new chapter (but not really excited to get fat) Now hopefully my child won't read this one day and think they were unwanted because this baby is so wanted and will bring Ben and I so much joy.

PS We went to the doctor last week. I am due January 17, 2014! Here's to hoping pregnancy will be kind to me....